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[personal profile] demonicgerbil
Last Thursday I had a little brush with being much, much blinder than I already was. I'm not entirely sure of the cause, but I awoke in the morning to the feel of sandpaper on my eyelids, then burning, horrid acidic burning, as tears flooded my eyes. The effect was to reduce my eyesight to something that can only be described as "legally blind." I couldn't make out text, with my glasses on, anywhere near my face. The blindness was mostly gone in a day, and I think I'm back to normal now.

Since then, I've had trouble sleeping. And on reflection, I think it's because I'm afraid I will have a brush with the same problem if I sleep for too long. To the end of preventing this, I've been subsisting on 1-2 hour naps in bed or on the couch. Short sleep, so that I can wake up and blink a lot, and force a lot of tears into my eyes to stave off the coming blindpocalypse. I never will claim it makes a lot of sense, but that's how psychological things are. They simply don't make sense, because the subconscious is not a rational actor (heck the consciousness is barely rational, no matter how much we may lie to ourselves about being rational beings).

That's part of the reason I've said even less than usual here on livejournal. I've been trying to convalesce over the summer, but these past few days I've been reluctant to say anything at all to anyone.

This kind of ridiculous illness seems to be a recurring theme this summer. It's like all the neglect I put on myself over the past year of dissertation writing finally came home to roost. I've had more health problems than I can really remember since I moved into my apartment in June. I don't want to whine about my health, because that's kind of annoying, but the short list is "several kidney stones, gout attacks, and various other ailments," along with the inexplicable attack of super dry eyes that wrecked my eyesight for a day and change.

I don't think I'm going to let that kind of poo-poo stop me anymore though. I have things I want to get done. I have things I have to do. Wallowing in misery's not going to get me anywhere, and as I was reminded when I looked at my livejournal comments a little while ago, I've got friends and colleagues waiting on me to get in gear.

So health problems, take this as a declaration of independence. The Doctor is in the house and he's going to put it into order.

Edit: And I see life wants to throw me some curveballs already. I can't log into my university e-mail or my facebook account. I'll conquer you yet, technology!