OLAD - In the Bleak Midwinter
Oct. 21st, 2007 07:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demonicgerbilThe bed was soft. The covers warm and comforting. The arms wrapped around her, strong and safe. She heard his voice murmuring reassuring things in her ear. But she wasn't listening to it, she wasn't feeling anything. She was alone in her own world. Her parents, her parents were still alive and they left her for dead. They hated her. How could they? How could anyone do that to their baby?
Time blurred and became meaningless. The ache in her breasts dulled. The crying in the background... the crying... her baby. She'd abandoned her own baby. Not Ansimir, her first. When she was so young and her body couldn't carry him.
Her husband, her Saylin, slipped off the bed to take care of Ansimir. She listened now, attentively. She heard every movement, every footfall, every soft rustle of fabric. He was taking Ansimir into the kitchen.
She moved quietly, off the bed, across the room, and then to the window, opening it. She tried to climb down the wall, but her grip wasn't sure, and she fell the ten or so feet to the ground. The landing was awkward, on hands and feet. She didn't cry out. She didn't even notice that her bare foot had been cut open by a sharp rock in the alley.
She started walking as quickly as she could. She didn't remember where it was that she needed to go, but she knew who she could ask. She broke into a run, moving as fast as her legs could carry her. She ran through the worst parts of Raivin, down through alleys and back routes. She shoved her way through groups of people. And then she was there, a nondescript door in an alley. A door that had been boarded over.
Reisma screamed and started beating on it. Her old madame. The woman that tried to look out for her before Reisma ran away from her, she had to be here. She was always here with her lingerie shop. She... Reisma ripped boards free and pounded on the wood until her knuckles where bloody and the door spattered red. She took one of the loose boards and used it to smash open the tiny window. She looked inside. The store was empty. There was nothing, not even the counter.
Reisma slumped down and started thinking. There had to be someone she could talk to. Someone that would remember where she wanted to go. Her thinking was cut short by the sound of one of Raivin's finest telling her to remain where she was. Of course she didn't. She was nearly breathless after sprinting away from him, from the scene of the crime. She ran and ran, eventually collapsing in an alley on a pile of broken down cardboard boxes.
They were soft compared to the ground. And it was a little warmer here than out on the street. She rested for a few moments, or perhaps longer. The sun was starting to go down when she finally caught her breath and could stand up again. She recognized this street. She used to get a lot of Johns here. And she'd play at all of these bars. The last time she'd been here was a year ago, perhaps a little longer, with Saylin. He'd killed two men that day, two of her old customers.
Reisma smoothed out her skirt and dusted off a little before hitting the bars. She couldn't believe the things she heard. So many people were dead, or had left town. There wasn't anyone left that knew her from five or six years ago, just a few Johns she'd fucked after meeting Ryla.
Reisma wandered aimlessly through the streets of Raivin. The moon swung slowly on its arc overhead. She was alone, not just physically, but spiritually. There's no one that can help her find what she's looking for. No one left alive or in this city that remembers.
She leaned against the post of one of the few oil lamps still burning on the street. She sighed and looked up at the sky, the stars, the moon. She didn't really notice the hand on her ass, or that it made its way under her skirt and into her panties. She barely registered the twenty gil coin pressed into her hands, or the following five minutes. What she did register, when her eyes finally noticed, is that she was in the alley she was looking for.
She looked around frantically, making sure. The cracks in the old brickwork. The place where there was a loose brick covering up a drug drop. This was it, it had to be.
She crawled to a specific place and started to dig into the hardpacked earth with her hands. Her fingernails tore, and the skin on her fingertips split open. She didn't pay it any mind, it had to be here. He had to be here.
In inch into the dirt she felt it. Decaying cardboard. She froze, remembering. He was so tiny. So small. More than helpless. And she failed him. His little hands. She failed him. "Mommy's here now... Mommy's here... I'm so sorry baby... Mommy's here..." She worked carefully now, digging the box up. She carefully wrapped it in discarded paper, trying to protect what was inside. As she stood up, cradling that bundle, tears ran down her face.
A gruff voice behind her spoke up, "I knew you'd come back, slut."
She froze. It couldn't be. "No... y-you can't be here..." She felt his hand on her shoulder, silently praying that this was just a nightmare. He took the bundle out of her hands, kissed her, and then slugged her.
Reisma hit the wall, hard. She didn't scream. He liked her screams. And she wasn't going to do anything he liked. Oh no. Not today.
He lit a cigarette. She could see he'd aged a lot over the last few years. "Why did you... why are you here," she whispered.
He dropped the match on the bundle she'd gone through such pain to retrieve. It was all she could do to keep from crying as it burst into flames. She didn't get an answer to her question, only the pain from her eye as it swelled shut. He picked her up like a ragdoll, forcing a hand between her legs. He growled, "You fucking slut, still fucking around on me? I'm going to teach you a fucking lesson, once and for all you waste of flesh."
Reisma waited until he raised his fist back and kicked him, driving her shin hard between his legs. The twisted look of pain on his face was worth it when his fist connected with her head a moment later. She screamed and reached for his head. He could only stop one hand, the other pressed her thumb into his eye. He let go of her, stumbling backwards. It was his mistake.
With a feral cry, Reisma leaped at him. She bite his face, taking off a hunk of nose and cheek. The old man fell to the ground. He rained blows down on her back, but she didn't notice as she returned all the pain she had ever felt from his hands. She bit, kicked, headbutted, gouged, and punched. Eventually he stopped moving, but she didn't care. She was still hurting him, or trying to, when the town guards took her away.
She smiled. She could see her breath in the air, lit by the cool moonlight. She remembered what Ladis said. And she remembered the look of surprise on that old bard's face when she fought back. "Mommy is here baby, Mommy didn't forget you..."
Time blurred and became meaningless. The ache in her breasts dulled. The crying in the background... the crying... her baby. She'd abandoned her own baby. Not Ansimir, her first. When she was so young and her body couldn't carry him.
Her husband, her Saylin, slipped off the bed to take care of Ansimir. She listened now, attentively. She heard every movement, every footfall, every soft rustle of fabric. He was taking Ansimir into the kitchen.
She moved quietly, off the bed, across the room, and then to the window, opening it. She tried to climb down the wall, but her grip wasn't sure, and she fell the ten or so feet to the ground. The landing was awkward, on hands and feet. She didn't cry out. She didn't even notice that her bare foot had been cut open by a sharp rock in the alley.
She started walking as quickly as she could. She didn't remember where it was that she needed to go, but she knew who she could ask. She broke into a run, moving as fast as her legs could carry her. She ran through the worst parts of Raivin, down through alleys and back routes. She shoved her way through groups of people. And then she was there, a nondescript door in an alley. A door that had been boarded over.
Reisma screamed and started beating on it. Her old madame. The woman that tried to look out for her before Reisma ran away from her, she had to be here. She was always here with her lingerie shop. She... Reisma ripped boards free and pounded on the wood until her knuckles where bloody and the door spattered red. She took one of the loose boards and used it to smash open the tiny window. She looked inside. The store was empty. There was nothing, not even the counter.
Reisma slumped down and started thinking. There had to be someone she could talk to. Someone that would remember where she wanted to go. Her thinking was cut short by the sound of one of Raivin's finest telling her to remain where she was. Of course she didn't. She was nearly breathless after sprinting away from him, from the scene of the crime. She ran and ran, eventually collapsing in an alley on a pile of broken down cardboard boxes.
They were soft compared to the ground. And it was a little warmer here than out on the street. She rested for a few moments, or perhaps longer. The sun was starting to go down when she finally caught her breath and could stand up again. She recognized this street. She used to get a lot of Johns here. And she'd play at all of these bars. The last time she'd been here was a year ago, perhaps a little longer, with Saylin. He'd killed two men that day, two of her old customers.
Reisma smoothed out her skirt and dusted off a little before hitting the bars. She couldn't believe the things she heard. So many people were dead, or had left town. There wasn't anyone left that knew her from five or six years ago, just a few Johns she'd fucked after meeting Ryla.
Reisma wandered aimlessly through the streets of Raivin. The moon swung slowly on its arc overhead. She was alone, not just physically, but spiritually. There's no one that can help her find what she's looking for. No one left alive or in this city that remembers.
She leaned against the post of one of the few oil lamps still burning on the street. She sighed and looked up at the sky, the stars, the moon. She didn't really notice the hand on her ass, or that it made its way under her skirt and into her panties. She barely registered the twenty gil coin pressed into her hands, or the following five minutes. What she did register, when her eyes finally noticed, is that she was in the alley she was looking for.
She looked around frantically, making sure. The cracks in the old brickwork. The place where there was a loose brick covering up a drug drop. This was it, it had to be.
She crawled to a specific place and started to dig into the hardpacked earth with her hands. Her fingernails tore, and the skin on her fingertips split open. She didn't pay it any mind, it had to be here. He had to be here.
In inch into the dirt she felt it. Decaying cardboard. She froze, remembering. He was so tiny. So small. More than helpless. And she failed him. His little hands. She failed him. "Mommy's here now... Mommy's here... I'm so sorry baby... Mommy's here..." She worked carefully now, digging the box up. She carefully wrapped it in discarded paper, trying to protect what was inside. As she stood up, cradling that bundle, tears ran down her face.
A gruff voice behind her spoke up, "I knew you'd come back, slut."
She froze. It couldn't be. "No... y-you can't be here..." She felt his hand on her shoulder, silently praying that this was just a nightmare. He took the bundle out of her hands, kissed her, and then slugged her.
Reisma hit the wall, hard. She didn't scream. He liked her screams. And she wasn't going to do anything he liked. Oh no. Not today.
He lit a cigarette. She could see he'd aged a lot over the last few years. "Why did you... why are you here," she whispered.
He dropped the match on the bundle she'd gone through such pain to retrieve. It was all she could do to keep from crying as it burst into flames. She didn't get an answer to her question, only the pain from her eye as it swelled shut. He picked her up like a ragdoll, forcing a hand between her legs. He growled, "You fucking slut, still fucking around on me? I'm going to teach you a fucking lesson, once and for all you waste of flesh."
Reisma waited until he raised his fist back and kicked him, driving her shin hard between his legs. The twisted look of pain on his face was worth it when his fist connected with her head a moment later. She screamed and reached for his head. He could only stop one hand, the other pressed her thumb into his eye. He let go of her, stumbling backwards. It was his mistake.
With a feral cry, Reisma leaped at him. She bite his face, taking off a hunk of nose and cheek. The old man fell to the ground. He rained blows down on her back, but she didn't notice as she returned all the pain she had ever felt from his hands. She bit, kicked, headbutted, gouged, and punched. Eventually he stopped moving, but she didn't care. She was still hurting him, or trying to, when the town guards took her away.
She smiled. She could see her breath in the air, lit by the cool moonlight. She remembered what Ladis said. And she remembered the look of surprise on that old bard's face when she fought back. "Mommy is here baby, Mommy didn't forget you..."